How can Marriage and Parenting be Worship?

What is the purpose of our creation?

  • God says in the Quran: “I have not created jinn and humankind but to worship/ubudiyah me.”
  • What is this Ibadah then that is the reason for our creation?
  • Ibadah=>
    1. We are abd ul-Allah= in essence, it means we are 100% dependent on Him alone.
    2. ubudiyah= realizing and living our abd-ness = know, love, worship/adore God
    3. It requires lifelong iman training = 23 years of Quran revelation and training by the Prophet
    4. How do we “know” God?
    5. Everything in creation is created for this purpose = they are ayah/signs = they reflect God’s Divine Attributes (Asma ul-Husna)
    6. g. Apple (or marriage) à reflects God’s Asma à Know à Love à Worship/adore its Creator= Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar
  • There is NO dichotomy between deen & dunya: we only have to train our hearts to see dunya from a Godly perspective = to reflect on the Asma on dunya
  • Hence, ONLY purpose of marriage & kids is to know, love, worship God
    1. There is no separation between religion and marriage, marital problems
    2. Marriage is created so we learn and reflect patience, love, taking care of, mercy, justice, friendship….. ALL are God’s Asma
  • Alternative perspective on marriage?
    1. Marriage is there to make me happy= ego= Hollywood reinforced perspective (romantic comedies!)
    2. Egoistic perspective -> war between 2 egos à fight or divorce
  • There are countless hadith & ayah on being kind, just, merciful to OTHERS. Start with your SPOUSE & CHILDREN
    1. 24/7 opportunity to get closer to God if you practice your Islam with your family (I mean be kind and just to them) OR you could just feed your ego/be servant to your ego
    2. Marriage does not become Islamic by only Islamic niqah & saying we will solve problems Islamically— NOT ENOUGH
    3. We have to live our Islam and reflect God’s Asma in our relationship with our families
  • We need to learn, read, contemplate & PRACTICE, seeing marriage from a QURANIC perspective
    1. Long term
    2. But AMAZING reward = peace, heaven HERE & NOW
    3. Constantly work on your iman AS A COUPLE
    4. ‘Date night’ alone won’t fix your marriage !!!
  • Example:
    1. If they ask for peace, make peace = forgive (ayah on war can apply to warring spouses too)
    2. You expect and demand them to love you & show their love
      1. Ask ourself = is it my ego wanting to be worshipped? Center of attention, be #1
      2. Embarrassing
  • Ask ourself= can he EVER fulfill my heart’s desire to be loved and taken care of?
    1. Or am I trying to fill a void?
    2. ONLY GOD’s infinite love can satisfy my heart’s longing for infinity
    3. This is why I am given this yearning= to find God
  • Parenting:
    1. AMAZING spiritual training ground to get to know GOD = boot camp or PHD
    2. Patience, creatorship, Razzaq…etc.
    3. Their vulnerability & 100% dependence as a baby = we are ALWAYS like that with God
    4. When their ego kicks in = they say “I can do it; I don’t need you” = we do this to God

Our ANCHOR in life is God and developing a Godly perspective on all things in dunya…